So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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