I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize