Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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