Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
