I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
