I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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