Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
