Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
