Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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