I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
