just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
