Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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