i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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