A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
