I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
