theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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