u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
