Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
