Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
