why didn't you poke me back
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
