As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
