Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
