get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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