he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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