when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
