he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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