Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
