Don't you send me to vm
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
