I just saw a hot homeless man
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
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