well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Randomize
