Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
