I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Floor bacon is actually really good
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
