I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she peed on how many people?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
