doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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