This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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