We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
