and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
