we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
