This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
