so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I look better un-naked...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
