we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
