my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Green mimosas i think yes
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
