my mouth tastes like poor choices
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
