i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
