omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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