she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
