wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
