im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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