Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
