I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
