woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
