I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
